Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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