Tell her she can't have a vagina
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
