He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
