I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Randomize