What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
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