I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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