I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
