i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
operation harelip BJ is a go
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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