im six kinds of drunk right now
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
