what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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