I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
