my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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