found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
nutella sex= disaster
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We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
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I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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