She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
