Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize