I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
