I wish I could teleport
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
