Please, let me fuck your mom
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
