Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
