I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
