i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
