she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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