Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
