she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
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She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
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Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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