Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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