I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
