Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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