Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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