i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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