Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
