Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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