what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
