i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
