im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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