i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
