yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize