Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
