i just google imaged poop.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize
