Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
