in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
