If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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