lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I love you. Go after that dick
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.