Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips