My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
