i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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