yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
