You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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