So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
