Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
