i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize