I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
