Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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