The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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