ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
