It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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