So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
