just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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