I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize