You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
