im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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